High School's A BITCH
by Kakashi911
Summary: InuYasha, Miroku, Sango, and Kagome are all at Hakurai High. Strip Shows, Making out in the halls, Fights, Quickies in the janitor's closet, Driving Principle Sesshomaru up a wall, and just plain awesomeness. Can you keep up with these high school...TEACHERS!
1. Welcome to Hakurai High

** InuYasha Takahashi- 23**

**Kagome Higurashi- 21**

**Sango Taijiya- 22**

**Miroku Kynamaru-25**

* * *

><p>Another year of teaching these bastards. Another year of ass wipe students and underage whores. Another year of bull shit from principle Kaeda. Man, why did he want to be a teacher? InuYasha couldn't remember so he just walked into his classroom. First days always sucked the most.<p>

"Hello all of you fucknuggets. I hope you all had shitty summers. Put all your shit away and we shall begin."

There wasn't a face in his classroom that wasn't absolutely shocked by hearing what he said. Kikyo, who was enraged by his greeting, raised her hand.

"What do you want bitch? I've got shit to do."

"Yashie-baby why do you talk so meanly to me? I am your girlfriend."

"Fuck off kinky-hoe. Don't call me Yashie, and we all know who my girlfriend is. Besides, I don't date dip shits."

With that, InuYasha told his class to do whatever the fuck they wanted and walked out the room.

* * *

><p><strong>Kagome's Classroom<strong>

"WELCOME BACK DICKWADS! Let's get one thing straight, I'm Kagome. Don't call me Ms. Higurashi because that is my mother. And boys, unless you want your balls chopped off and shoved down your throat, I suggest you take your eyes off my boobs."

Kagome assigned some ice breaker game to the class before walking out.

* * *

><p><strong>Sango's Classroom<strong>

"Good Morning students. I hope you all brought the appropriate supplies from the list I gave you at open house. Please take out your notebooks and write a fifty page essay on the wonderful profession of bill collecting."

The class groaned and one kid with a death wish muttered something about a dumb assed bitch. That was the first fatal mistake.

"EXCUSE ME. IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY THEN MAKE IT A 100 PAGE ESSAY ABOUT ROCKET SCIENCE AND IT'S DUE TOMORROW OR ITS FOUR ZEROES YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!"

Sango stormed out the room, loudly slamming the door behind her.

* * *

><p><strong>Miroku's Classroom<strong>

"Hello ladies and gentlemen. I see we have some very lovely girls this year."

He walked up to a blonde haired girl with a considerable amount of cleavage showing. He picked up her hands, and in a husky asked if she would bare his children. He then proceeded to squeeze her boob.

"PERVERT!"

*SLAP*

The blonde girl was about to say something but Miroku was out the door.

* * *

><p><strong> HallWay<strong>

All 4 friends shared knowing smirks before dashing down the hallway towards Principle Sesshomaru's office.

Sango, who had been wringing her hands nervously, asked

"Why are we doing this again?"

"Well, Sesshomaru never leaves his office from 9:15 to 9:45. Don't you ever wonder what he's doing? I mean, he's such a pompous jack ass. What the fuck could he possibly be doing that's so damn important top where he can't visit his students?"

Kagome was pissed,so she decided to just shut up.

"Kagome, you got the camera?"

"Yeah Inu."

"Then let's do this shit."

*SLAP*

"LECHER! YOU DIRTY PERVY LECHER!"

The red mark on Miroku's cheek was throbbing, but he was used to it.

"But dear Sango, your luscious juicy ass was calling to me!"

Sango was beyond angry, drop kicked him back down the hallway.

"Kagome I'm royally pissed, so let's get this damn shit done before I explode."

InuYasha turned the door knob and opened the door, while Kagome flipped open her cam corder and clicked the record button.

They were shocked.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL BLOODY FUCK OF A HORNY BASTARD'S SLUTTY BITCH!?"

InuYasha just shuddered at the sight and passed out. Sango was pale as computer paper. She had a hand on her heart, then went to go meditate on the meaning of life. Kagome, who'd been tasked with recording whatever he did, took a small step inside the large office and slowly pointed the camera around the room before closing her camera. She backed out into the hallway, screaming bloody murder.

Sesshomaru was on his office floor stark naked with his rock hard 13 inch dick positioned to slide into Rin's hands were firmly gripping Rin's ass. He always had had a fascination with her ass. Rin also bore no clothes, but was in the "doggy style" position waiting for Sesshomaru to pleasure her.

"Rin."

"Yes fluffy?"

Sesshomaru frowned at the nickname he despised, but continued on, nevertheless.

"Remind me to give InuYasha hell."


	2. Demons

**DISCLAIMER: I OBVIOUSLY DON'T OWN INUYASHA. IF I DID, WHY IN THE NAME OF FUCK WOULD I WASTE MY FUCKING TIME WRITING A DAMN FANFIC ABOUT IT!**

* * *

><p>Kagome loaded the previously recorded video, which she had earlier downloaded on her labtop, and uploaded it onto the giant projector on the cafeteria. With a devilish smirk she clicked play.<p>

As soon as InuYasha saw the video start, he turned off the lights and watched while the cafeteria innocently viewed, obviously unaware of what it contained.

The screen lit up to Miroku and Sango, they had introduced the whole thing.

Video: "Hello students of Hakurei High! It's here with . Say hello, my sexy assed fellow reporter."

Miroku had a lecherous grin on his face as he inched his "cursed" hand closer and closer to Sango's chest.

*SLAP*

"YOU PERVERTED DIRTY TRAMP!"

Sango had slapped him so hard, he was sprawled on the floor. She decided to kick his ribs with her high heels six or seven times, just for good measure.

"LECHEROUS MONGREL! UGH. SCREW THIS SHIT. PLAY THE DAMN VIDEO!"

The video switched scenes to Sesshomaru ,naked, holding the just as naked Rin's ass. They were in the doggy style position. Rin's head was back, and she looked as if she was about to have an intense orgasm. Sesshomaru's 13 inch dick was just grazing her opening. While Rin didn't notice her audience, Sesshomaru did, and he had one heck of a look of horror on his face was hilarious.

Switch Scene: Miroku, who was shaking in utter fear and horror,slowly lifted his thumb to his mouth. Sango, deciding to take one for the team, closed out the video.

"And that..."

*twitch*

"Is what Principle Fluffy..."

*shudder*

"Does in his spare time. I need physiological help now, and am gonna be traumatized for a while. I'm going to faint now."

*BAM*

Sango's body hit the floor.

The screen went black. The whole cafeteria was in hysterics. Their pompous jack ass of a principle was getting laid in his office by the 9th grade guidance counselor.

'They say that now because they didn't see it in person. Damn bastards'

InuYasha just decided to let it go. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and strolled out of the cafeteria. He would need some therapy after his traumatic experience. He decided the music room would be perfect. He was working on a new song.

Seeing that InuYasha had left, Kagome grabbed her laptop and walked out the cafeteria. Seeing InuYasha go into the music room while in the hallway, she slipped in as well.

"Hey Kags. I've been working on a new song, and I really want you to here it."

"Of course."

InuYasha picked up one of the specially made demon guitars, made for demons with claws.

(The song is demons by imagine dragons, and I do not own it in any way)

_ When the days are cold_

_And the cards all fold and_

_And the saints we see are all made of gold_

_When your dreams all fail and the_

_And the ones we hail_

_Are the worst of all_

_And the bloods run stale_

_I wanna hide the truth_

_I wanna shelter you_

_But with the beast inside_

_There's no where we can hide_

_No matter what we breathe_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get to close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_When her hands call_

_It's the last of all_

_When the lights fade out_

_All the centers crossed_

_So they dug your grave_

_And the masquerade_

_And they call you out_

_In the mess you made_

_Don't wanna let you down_

_But I am held down_

_No this is all for you_

_Don't wanna hide the truth_

_No matter what we breathe_

_We still are made of greed_

_This is my kingdom come_

_This is my kingdom come_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get to close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_They say it's what you make_

_I say it's up to fate_

_It's woven in my soul_

_I need to let you go_

_Your eyes they shine so bright_

_I wanna say that lie_

_I can't escape this now_

_Unless you show me how_

_When you feel my heat_

_Look into my eyes_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_Don't get to close_

_It's dark inside_

_It's where my demons hide_

_It's where my demons hide_

_(A/N_ : Damn that was long...how do song fic writers do it?)

"InuYasha that was amazing! Why don't you ever sing in front of anyone else? You could become famous and be the world's sexiest man!"

"For thing Kagome, I'm already the world's sexiest man."

-eye roll-

"But believe it or not, there's three things I'm absolutely petrified of. Losing you, not being able to protect my friends, and singing in public. My songs have always been a part of me and I don't exactly feel comfortable with sharing it, except for you."

"Oh InuYasha,I love you."

"I know you do."

"Arrogant ass."

"Your arrogant ass."

"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!"

"You know it."

By then InuYasha was laughing so hard, he didn't detect anyone's presence outside the door.

'_Get ready because you're going to be humiliated...little brother'_

* * *

><p><strong>Ok so there's chapter two, and sorry if I messed up some of the lyrics to that song. Ok soooo I'm hoping to get at least three reviews, but I'll take what I can get. Sorry for the short lengths, but I can assure you that longer chapters are coming up. I'll also personally thank my reviewers in the next chapter and from then on.<strong>

**If you're curious, yes there are demons, Kikyo is a bitch and has a crush on InuYasha, Sesshomaru hates his baby bro, Sesshomaru is dating Rin, InuYasha is dating Kagome, and Miroku is dating Sango. Jakotsu is gay and still obsessed with InuYasha.**

** Also to the little readers I actually have,I was wondering if random stuff should start happening...like Miroku was talking to Jakotsu, then got bored and flew away on a magic neon unicorn...should I start writing weird shit like that or what? Anyways I'll stop wasting your time I'll update by next Friday...Ciao**


	3. Sweet Dreams

"DISCLAIMER: THESE DAMN FORSAKEN THINGS GET ON MY FUCKING NERVES. I DON'T OWN INUYASHA DAMMIT, SO STOP RUBBING IT IN.

"Guys, I'm bored."

InuYasha sighed, and took another sip of his coffee. He, Kagome, Sango, Miroku, Kouga, and Ayame were cutting class, even though they were supposed to be the ones teaching.

"Lets do something fun."

"Ugh, dog turd, it's too damn hot to do anything."

"Well wolf shit, why don't we do something that'll be cool."

"Gentleman, how about we go swimming in the school pool?"

"Miroku, you just want to see the girls in bikinis."

"How could you accuse me of such indecency! InuYasha, I thought we were friends."

"Whatever, let's go swimming."

The girls all cheered. They had gone bikini shopping a week prior for the summer beach trip they took every year. They dashed out the room.

"Well they were _excited."_

"I agree with you for once dog turd."

Pool

"Those girls are taking to damn long. It's been like seven min..."

"DAMNNNNNNNN."

The girls had made their entrance. Ayame was wearing a dark green two peice, the bottoms were similar to bicycle shorts. Sango, wearing a dark red one piece with a red wrap, looked stunning. Kagome was wearing a two piece, her bottoms tied with strings. It was a dark pink with light pink flowers all over it. Sango had braided her hair elaborately, and pinned it at the back of her head. Ayame bunned hers on the very top of her head, while Kagome sported braided pigtails.

They boys were all shirtless, and showing their sexy,tanned,ripped six packs. Kouga and InuYasha had high ponytails, while Miroku had his shoulder length hair down.

All six were having a blast. They even had a canon ball contest, until Principle Sesshomaru showed up, that is.

"This Sesshomaru does not appreciate his employees slacking on their jobs, which I so graciously provided them with."

'_SHIT'_

Red lights went off all around. Sesshomaru did _not_ look happy. He was _smiling._ Their stick-up-the-ass principle never smiled. _Ever._

"RUN!"

One after the other ,they hopped out the pool, and dashed away. They ran the entire half mile to behind the school. Kouga was completely red in the face and panting between twitches on the concrete, while the rest hadn't broken a sweat.

"Out of shape ass wipe?"

"Can it flea bag, before I get some peanut butter and a rubber ball."

"Bastard."

**Back at the teacher's lounge**

"I wanna start a riot."

"Kagome, you've been listening to too much Three Days Grace."

"Shut up Sango. I mean, think about what it would do to Principle jack-ass's reputation."

"Most of the students here are preps or sluts. They would never do something...wrong...unless you count the sluts always slutting, or Kikyo's constant sleeping with , even though he's married, is over seventy, and has grandchildren. Otherwise, they're just a bunch of lame-assed bastards."

"Unless...I did...the...thing."

All heads turned in InuYasha's direction.

"You wouldn't."

"On the contrary Kagome,I would."

"Uhhhhh what's "the thing" exactly."

"Oh sweet innocent Ayame, some things shan't be mentioned...or maybe they should."

Kagome had a devilish look in her eyes, and she was laughing hysterically. Her friends were scared. Kouga would never admit it, but he actually peed in his favorite Spider-man underwear.

"Ok everyone, since it's the middle of the school day, and we're half naked, we should should go to the locker rooms and get dressed, before our students bust us in practically our underpants."

They all went and got dressed and came back. Kagome had on an "eyes up here buddy" shirt, and a black mini skirt that went to just above her knees. Sango had a white bunny shirt and yellow short shorts. Ayame had on her mustard yellow sweater and bright red skort. She had a hot pink boot and a burgundy boot. Her lime green knee socks with the neon purple stars were on. Her hair was in a braid to the side. She was always the tacky one. Miroku had a "babes on board" shirt on with jeans, while Kouga had on a muscle shirt and gym shorts, with a head band. InuYasha was still in his red trimmed in silver swim trunks.

"Ok guys, do not look at InuYasha when he does the thing, or else you will be pulled in."

"When all the students run out the classroom, say that InuYasha is in Fluff-Fluff's room, ok? REMEMBER. . . . . . . .

"Ok kags geez, calm down."

InuYasha grabbed a towel, and wrapped it around his body.

"Ok guys, let's go."

First up was Miroku's room. While InuYasha did his magic, Miroku deliberately disobeying Kagome, peeked.

InuYasha waltzed in, while flipping his wet hair over his shoulder. Wringing it out, he suddenly began to smirk and winked an eye. Water was slowly drizzling down his sexy, muscled body. InuYasha waved over his shoulder, and pranced out. Even though Miroku was straight, nobody could handle InuYasha and his sexy charm, his nose began bleeding and he passed out, having gay dreams. All the students ran out the classroom looking this way and that, for the sex god known as InuYasha, trampling poor Miroku in the process.

Miroku's Dream: Miroku was standing on stage in a bright red form fitting ugly dress with a low cleavage. He wore puke green eye shadow that didn't match his eyes, thickly applied raccoon-like mascara, andhis nails were done to look like leopard fur. His pantyhose were riding up his ass.

"WE LOVE YOU MIROKU!"

His thousands of screaming fans were practically begging him to sing. Miroku shuddered. His "fans" were a bunch of naked Jakotsus and Narakus in speedos that revealed waaay too much.

Seeing no choice, he picked up the microphone and sang.

I like big dicks

And I cannot lie

Pussy I gotta deny

When a boy walks in

And his asshole is nice

He gets raped

'What the fuck am I singing?!'

"Screw it. Good night bastards."

Miroku dropped his mike and stomped off stage, slipping several times in his 6 inch heels.

When he awoke, the riot was already over. His friends had dragged him onto the teacher's lounge couch, and were currently recalling the event.

"Yeah, and remember that guy with the mustard."

"Oh yeah and that CNN reporter started stripping."

"Remember the hot tub?"

"Totally, and when Jennifer Lopez showed up?"

"My favorite part was that hot sauce-covered pickle that was in 's tidy whiteys.'

"I liked it when Fluffy had to help get the ketchup out that guy's butt and he didn't know they had gloves and he used his bare..."

"ENOUGH!"

Everyone stared at Miroku.

"How much did I fucking miss? Jennifer Lopez...the president...Sesshomaru going ass digging...stripping reporters...WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU MOTHER FUCKERS FUCKING WAKE ME UP!?"

"Miroku, you looked so peaceful, and we just thought you were exhausted."

"Dear Sango, I wasn't exhausted. I was having a gay assed nightmare. I was forced to wear an ugly dress with uncomfortable pantyhose, and I had to wear make-up...AND IT DIDN'T COMPLEMENT MY EYES!"

Miroku layed down on the dirty floor, and began bawling while he cried his eyes out. The whole group just stared at him like he had two heads that humping their brains out.

"Miroku, buddy...did you see me do...the thing."

"Yes."

"Miro...Kags and Inu are so sensitive about the thing...What is it?"

"InuYasha is probably the world's best babe magnet. He made straight guys go gay. It was so beautiful...with the swaying hips...and his wink..."

Miroku's nose spurted out a stream of blood as he crashed to the floor.

Everyone, besides Kagome, was sending InuYasha questioning glances as to what had just occurred.

"This is why I said don't look you dumb asses."

"Screw off Kags."

"Sorry Sango, I'm saving that for tonight."

"Fuck you."

"I don't swing that way."

The group picked up their white hot chocolate and left the room, leaving a knocked out Miroku behind them.

Miroku's Dream:

Miroku was once again standing on stage in his ugly dress with his riding panty hose, except this time he not only had eye shadow that didn't match his eyes, but neon green lips with the outer rims in maroon. He had bright pink nails, and his extremely high heels were an awful bright yellow.

'Oh shit...not this again.'

**Ok so I still haven't gotten an answer on the whole random shit thing, but it's cool. I know this chapter was lame, and sucked but hopefully the next chapter will be funnier. I'm gonna elaborate on Jakotsu being in love with InuYasha, so hopefully that will be fun, also Naraku is coming up so be prepared, because he's a total ass. Until next time, ciao.**

**I'd like to thank:**

**InuFanGoddess**

**Anonymous Alaina**

**Please Please Please read the InuYasha fanfic Perfect Imperfections by InuFanGoddess if you haven't already.**


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